I am, medically termed, a disordered eater. Specifically a binge eater. I am overweight due to my addiction. But I am trying dammit. Yes, I slip. Often. But I chose to love myself. I look at my full hips, wobbly upper arms, and extra full midsection and the statistics flood my brain. Obesity leads to higher medical risks. Diabetes. Heart Disease. Stoke. And having a hard time climbing more than four flights of stairs. But I choose to love myself. My wobbly arms can put a newborn baby to sleep in less than two minutes. My extra full midsection may jiggle when I bounce my kiddos around a room, but my extra wide hips balance me out and create the perfect spot to hold a child. I am me, wholly and beautifully. And as the title of this blog suggests, my eating is something that I am striving to change. I train with a personal trainer once a week and take group training sessions twice a week. I try to eat the freshest and healthiest foods when I’m not on a binge. I do binge. It happens. I cry, I go to bed. I wake up and train for an hour. No. This is not a solution or a long term fix. But my arms are getting stronger. My stride is longer and more sure. I dance without care with my one year old charges. I am happy. And my addiction will not take that from me. My hurts and pain are nothing compared to the love and healing power offered to me. So I try.
No comments:
Post a Comment